I have been away a while. I went canoeing….Ha! not really, a mixture of work going nuts and Dixie deciding that now is the time to get new teeth, have a cold, growing pains and be a general pain. Sleep is for wimps at the moment. I have eyes like droopy.

Anyhoos, I wrote a blog in early September about how Christmas was in full swing in my local Tesco’s where two isles were then dedicated to Advent calendars, Xmas puddings and other assorted festive goodies. I thundered against it then and for good reason….I, with still 5 days to go am all Christmassed out.

I was a bit of a nerd this year and sorted the shopping out in November. I hid it all and forgot about it until today when I wrapped it all up. I then had to pop in to town for some work related things and finally it hit me – I am bored by Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong, with a 4 year old I am really loving the Santa bribes and the excitement she is generating. But I just got fed up with the rampant commercialism of Christmas – and this is from someone who errs on the right in his politics. Market forces and all that.

But I have been bombarded by email everyday for 6 weeks now with “latest ipods” and “Nintendo DS” emails amongst other crap. Every TV advert is about SPEND MONEY HERE and every TV programme has been about presents.

You just know that if you had the gall to delay Christmas by a month, it would save you 50% as the stuff you have bought will all be in the sale on Boxing Day. As an aside, is anyone brave enough to ask for their gift receipts and take the new shirt back, get the full refund, then re buy it at sale price and pocket the difference?

I’m not, but I wish I was.

I am not religious at all, but I do believe strongly in the family. Christmas should be about the family day. I find it really sad when families war over Christmas. Usually as someone is trying to please everyone and in doing so, end up pleasing no-one.

Parents have a really tough time, especially if both sets of in-laws are alive. Who do you spend the 25th with? Both sets want to see their grand children and I understand that, but the accusations of favouritism are inevitable despite the almost certain alternate years rule that most use. One of my friends has three sets as the step dad that brought him up with his biological mum for 15 years, then split up and remarried, also expects a visit. I feel for him as he cannot win.

So here in my humble opinion is how Christmas should be.

Rule number 1 –

No decorations, no big signs, no snowy adverts with Santa, and DEFINATLEY no Christmas music until 12 days prior – (with an extension for Slade that bans them until the 24th) So the “season” starts on the 13th.

Do your shopping as you wish, shops can show their gift sets, but no decs or tree or music until 12 days. You do not need the assorted extras to shop.

Rule 2 –

Xmas morning is a private affair for the immediate family only. So mum, dad and kids. Everyone else can swing. Presents should be material for the kids – whatever they wanted and personal for the wife/Husband/significant other. Something that is thoughtful, took time to think about and get. Price should be unimportant. Oh, and that thing she has been dropping hints for in the past 6 months would help too.

Rule 3 –

Make it clear in the run up who is being seen on which day. No arguments, no debate and do not fall for the emotional blackmail.

Rule 4 –

Dinner should be with who you want to be there. Extended family is great, as many as you can cook for and physically fit in. Bigger the better.

Rule 5 –

NO TELLY. Sky plus what you need to, but switch the box OFF.

Rule 6 –

Leave the kids to play with their new toys. Don’t drag them here and there when all they want to do is play.

Rule 7 –

Boxing Day is for football (or Horse racing/rugby if that is your bag). Don’t try and buck that. Ever.

Rule 8 –

Go back to work on 27th. If you don’t Xmas will seem too long and you will argue with the family. It will be quiet anyway, so don’t use up your leave (unless you are in one of those offices that force you to).

Rule 9 –

Enjoy it. Don’t see it as a chore.

Happy Christmas all.

Dan