Going Off Alarming

Yep, my name does not lie...DanR2210...2210 being today and hence my birthday.

So what?

So nothing.

This morning the GLW was on early turn at work so was gone before 5, so it was down to me to round up Pixie and Dixie to nursery. No real alarms as such so perhaps they did realise it was my birthday and made life easy.

And now I am at work. Well, at home at work as I deliberatley made no appointments today and will spend the day chasing orers and doing reports. Or blogging.

Just another ordinary day and to be honest, twas ever thus.

When growing up, no real fuss was made of my birthday. Yes I was treated well in the present department, I vividly remember bikes and things but no real extra special stuff. Just an ordinary day with presents and cards. Over in a flash. It did not help being the youngest of three with a 5 year gap either as clearly mum and dad were fatigued by it all having gone through it twice and seemingly thought it was over! Mistakes will happen eh?

So when I started to go out with girs properly, it shocked me to see what they had on their birthdays. Real attention, you know big family dinners, banners flags and lots of little niknak prezzies as well as the biggie. It lasted the full day to, from special breakfast to late posh chocolate in front of the new DVD - or video as in my case as I am a bit old now. Summer birthdays was always a big BBQ party.

The GLW is the same, birthdays are BIG in her household and you are expected the day off work and spend it together which I think is realy nice.

My family can barely get the cards to each other on time - parents excepted. My sister being utterly appalling and will always bring a dog eared envelope to me sometime in November. It will have an address and stamp on it, but that final part of actually posting it seems to elude her.

So here I am in an empty house with 3 cards waiting downstairs. The postie is due soon and I doubt she will need a larger sack, yet with the strikes at least it provides a wonderful excuse to my sister.

But the day should get better. The GLW will finish at 2 so we will go and have a late lunch together then get Pixie and Dixie where 4 year old Pixie will make me a cake and I will open cards and prezzies then.

Happy birthday Dan.

Maybe I should plead the 5th here but I feel it is time for some honesty. I have finally been busted on one of my terrible habits and so as a kind of confessional, I thought I would own up formally.

Y'see, I am a pen thief. Now don't get me wrong, I do not steal Mont Blanc and other flashy brands. Not my style. But the simple truth is I NEVER have a pen to hand. Ever. So when in need of one, I will see one on a desk and "borrow" it without asking and in truth, with no damn intention of handing it back. I have been getting away with it for years and years.

I often have pilfered a pen only to hear 5 minutes later from an adjacent desk "where is my pen?" and to compound things, they would ask me if i had seen it.

"nah, sorry mate" as I slid the pen below desk level.

Now in the days of stationary cupboards this was an issue. You could never get past the gatekeeper of the key who was usually either a secretary or a clerical assistant which an inflated sense of importance.

"err, can I have a new pen please"
"what do you want it for"
"err, why do you think"
"where is your one"
"lost it"
"well find it"
"look, i need a pen, there are at least 10,000 in there so gimme the key"
"ok, but don't take any post it notes or selotape"

Now I work from home when not visiting customers so my habit has got worse. I walk in to an office and any unguarded desk will see the logo'ed pen into my bag in a flash. I will re-iterate that I only steal essentailly "free" pens. Like advertising ones, or company ones.

For example, if I clear out my bag now I will have pens from Nortel, BT, Met Police, Littlewoods, Bexley community partnership, Shell, Citibank, Wembley Stadium, Marriot Hotels and HSBC. I have lods of others, but I listed those from companies you will have heard of.

So as I have tens of pens in my bag, why do I steal them? Well as explained earlier it is because I need one "NOW"!! and will not ferritt around in the bag for one. So if there is one laying on a desk, it will do. So why do I not give it back...err, well that I can't answer.

Maybe this pen kleptomania shows some symptoms of a deep psycological issue. Or maybe, I am just a common thief.

I am a nightmare at a trade show. Recently at the NEC I just trawled all the stands for giveaway pens. Thanks CRM TEchnologies whoever you are! But I do draw the line at Argos. I do put those back.

So if work in an office and ever you wondered where your pen went and it went missing about the same time as that dodgy looking account manager came in, then email me and I will send it back.

But the reason I bring this up today is twofold. I was at a seminar this week where some jumped up bint was talking about "your personal brand". Part of this was what pen you use and how you are perceived when using it. Needless to say this hit rather a raw nerve with me as I have spent exactly zero on pens my entire life.

But secondly at a customer this morning I used a pen with their logo on it to sign in. The receptionist recognised it as the one that went missing about the time of my last visit.

Despite my protestations that I had just picked it up, she was having none of it.

"i suppose a tea is out of the question then"
"milk no sugar?"

Ahhh...I've still got it!

Dan

OK, I agree not the most exciting of headlines and perhaps not the most interesting blog I have ever written, but something really is starting to bug me.

Taps.

Yes, taps. Not taps per se, but the inconsistency of taps. Let me elaborate...

This morning i was getting Pixie and Dixie ready for nursery and the natural chaos that ensues. Dixie has now learned how much fun it is to take of velcro strapped trainiers and then socks, and Pixie will not even contemplate getting dressed until Horrid Henry has finished. Time was getting on and I had to be in a meeting on the other side of the M25 in two hours.

I just thought I had enough time to pay a quick visit to the toilet while the credits of Horrid Henry rolled and Dixie was waiting by the door - ("door - door....car, car, cat..dog...etc"). What i did not factor in was the washing of hands. I put on the hot tap and waited as it poured cold. And waited, and waited and then finally it dribbled to a stop. Then I opened the tap a little more only for the most insipid lukewarm water to come out. Now during all this, Dixe had again undone her shoes and socks and the second horrid henry had begun. War broke out as I man handled them into the car, one sockless and one shouting "I want to see Horrid Henry and the Injection". Happy days.

Anyhoos. I manage to get to the meeting on time (south side of M25 luckily, north was closed for 8 hours today) and after consuming vast buckets of tea in the meeting I visit the toilet again. This time, on washing hands the water comes out at 300MPH and I have that classic embarrassment of the splash on the front of the suit trousers. So there I was under the hand drier pointing it at my nether regions, when in walks the guy I had the meeting with.

"bloody taps, too fast!"
"yeah, alright, I believe you"

Not sure whether he will sign the contract.

Finally, back to HQ and I have my final visit to the toilet and this time the taps are quick but at a decent flow, so I put my hands underneath only to find the the temperature is provided at thermo nuclear levels. Such is the heat, I am sure you could make tea straight from the tap. My hands turn red and I am sure the skin started to peel.

As I leave I notice a sign on the mirror "caution, water temperatures supplied at high level" - which begs the question...why? and another was, why not on the mirror that I was using.

So there you have it. A day terrorised by taps.

Dan

Problem solved thanks to BT. Won't bore you all, but basically it was a slow connection but was OK for UK based sites but those based abroad had issues for my connection. All sorted now and the site is whizzing along.

:

So since my last brief and very grumpy blog entry, "Pixie" my nearly 4 year old has turned 4. My word did she understand what birthdays were all about this time around. The last three have sort of bewildered her, but this time is was a full onslaught to the prezzies. Not pausing to look at what was actually inside as she tossed it aside and went on to the next prezzie eagerly. Great fun to watch.

Meanwhile 18 month old "Dixie" was picking up the prezzies and running off with them - for a laugh. Annoying the bejeepers out of Pixie - which was also funny.

All in all, things are cool here.

So we had a little tea party for Pixie and both sets of grand parents came over. I really like my In-Laws and I am lucky in that respect as none of my friends get on with theirs.

But they have one quirk that drives me insane. They get ready to leave, get packed up get towards the door and then start a new conversation and we end up hanging by the door for 20 mins. Then we get outside and they start another, so we are now by the cars for another 15 while simultaneously chasing Dixie around the Close and stoping her from running away.

They do this EVERY time. In their house when we visit too. I am just about opening the door and Father In Law will say "oh, just got to show you these pics on the PC" so polite boy that I am, I stand in his study for half an hour looking at various pics and calming the now frustrated Pixie and Dixie.

A minor complaint in the scheme of things as they are really nice, helpful, non interfereing people...and that is rare thing for In Laws.

But it drives me nuts.

Anyway - glad to be back blogging and catching up on a few people.

D