Yesterday the GLW brought home a copy of NOW! magazine. Immediately she saw the disgust on my face and started to defend her purchase:

"it's bath reading, just trashy gossip it does not mean anything"

But then the truth slipped out...

"anyway, I like to know what is going on and it helps me chat at work"

I did not rise to it as it is rather pointless. But the phrase "i like to know what is going on" just made me roll my eyes as actually there is rather more going on than "'A' Lister in cellulite shocker" or "posh and becks....the end???".

Now I will accept there is a time and a place for the heavier, meatier journals and news. And even I, as a bit of a current affairs junkie appreciate that not everyone wants to read more than they need about interest rates and the world bank issues.

But please...the opposite end of the scale is this trash. I did casually flick through while waiting for the apprentice and it was page after page of insult to intelligence. The GLW is a bright girl - a professional woman (no jokes at the back please) so why should she enjoy long range (staged, no doubt) paparazzi photos of Mel B? I mean, she was famous years ago and has done nothing of note except shag a famous Hollywood star! Oops, my mistake, that is MORE than enough.

Paris Hilton....needs shooting. A person famous for being rich and being seen with famous people to be photographed in these magazines to get publicity to be more famous....It is self perpetuating nonsense.

I am glad to say I did not know most of the "slebs" in it. Roxanne pallet? Vicky Entwistle? Joeseph Gilgum????

I am all for escapism, but the fact that people who read these mags DEBATE them makes me despair. It is one thing to casually flick through one when waiting for the dentist but altogether another to argue that "Posh" looks better in blue than white and the belt really does not go with those shoes. I mean WHAT IS SHE THINKING????

Yet this train is not for stopping yet. Big Brother has started and more untalented wannabees will be lining up to be photographed and picked over.

For what it is worth, I am not anti Big Brother. I used to love it when it was almost natural, but I think it is far too contrived now and the show just wants to be contrary. Which is a shame IMO.

Anyway, enough if my despair with modern life. I am off to buy some Jimmy Choos's and hope they match my Paul Smiths.

Dan

....Been thinking about finally ditching the "?" standard avatar and getting one.

Generally against avatars as people read too much into them. People look at them and think:

Hippy
twat
football
sad bloke into comics
sad bloke trying to be funny
star wars freak
sweet

but to hell with it, I will search something - and I bet you all change your opinion of me when you see it. Whatever it may be...

suggestions welcome!

Dan

OK, so it is hardly the middle east crisis I am talking here but I have two dilemmas. One is just a story and how I handled it, the other a little more...errr...delicate.

1 - Yesterday at a friends house his dad was there. I have known the dad for as long as I have known my friend - 25+ years as we went to the same primary school (my friend that is, not his dad

We start this conversation about getting a villa abroad. I would love a bolt hole in spain to go to on a whim. Imagine...it was absolutley p1ssing it down yesterday and how nice it would be to be able to afford to jump on Ryanair to Malaga, pick up a car and go to your own place. *dreams*

So he reminds me that he used to use his brother in law's place in spain a every year for about 15 years when my mate was growing up. Then he said "yeah, tight git...y'know he charged us £100 a week every time we used it"

I was about to say how generous that was when his rant started:

"y'know, it's not as if he was short of a few quid, but he wanted the £100 regardless. I always felt he was taking the p1ss to be honest I mean, we are family. But no, the rich bloke wanted his coin. Honestly Dan, If i had a place, he could use it when he wants for free. But I don't get some people, I really don't".

The rant went on and on as I quietly sipped my tea.

Now, a couple of things here;

1, I know his brother in law pretty well and he is not rich. Comfortable yes. Rich no. IE he still works for a living because he has to, not out of choice.

2, I think £100 with no increase for 15 years is a bargain and a half. Even 20+ years ago. I happen to know that the running costs of a place in Spain (2bed 2bath on complex) are more than that now and were probably about that back then.

So, my dilemma was as I strongly disagree with him and feel he is well out of order, say my piece or quietly nod and Hmmm and look to move away?

Well, I decided on the latter. Not because I am not fond of conflict, it was just that I did not see the point.

But then on the way home I had second thoughts...should you get family rates for a holiday home? What if I did have one and my brother wanted to use it? Would he be offended if I charged him? I think he would be. But why should I subsidise his holiday?

It is probably lucky I can't afford a place in Spain. Too many hidden issued me thinks.

Dan

PS - I think I have rambled on and will leave the delicate matter for another day. many more developments there no doubt.

A sunny warm day just makes me feel good.

I have little choice but to get up early at the moment, but what a pleasure it is to get out of bed without making a quick grab for the thick dressing gown and wrapping it so tight your circulation stops.

The sun is already pouring through the house and as I prepare the milk for my youngest and tea for the GLW, I look out at the green grass in my garden and trees over the back and think just how nice it all looks.

Going to work in sunlight and coming home the same is so much nicer. To have time in the garden with the kids before they go to bed is fab.

Not for me the cold dark evenings.

I never ever ever ever complain about it being too hot. The alternative extreme is far worse.

I detest cold dark dank days. Weeks on end with grey clouds and drizzle. I don't actually mind torrential rain - that is quite cool. But the cold drizzle...squally showers? Nah.

But alas this weather is coming to an end shortly. The very pretty Kaddy Lee Preston (those outside the BBC south east region will have no idea who I am on about) tells me that the bank holiday weekend will be my nemises weather.

Now, where did I leave that holiday brochure?

Dan

The GLW had a free appointment with a personal trainer last night at her gym (no, I am not jealous or suspicious...it is not going to turn in to one of those "is she/isn't she" paranoid ones). Well, the point is she was out last night.....hang on...why did I just not say she was out and leave it there? It would have been easier really...anyway I digress.

Fact was, I was on my own and with kids in bed was able to watch MY TV uninteruppted which is a rare treat. Usually I start to watch something only for elder child to demand the Wizard Of Oz/Toy Story/Finding Nemo on or Peppa Pig...and when they are in bed, it is Sky Plus time for Ugly Betty or some such trash for the GLW.

So my pleasures of TV are rare. I delved into my sky plus to see what gems I had recorded and found THIS LIFE+10 which was on before Christmas FFS!

Being of that age the original series had me gripped. I love TV, but very little has ever made me say to a mate on the phone "sorry, not coming to the pub tonight, Telly too good", but This Life did. The video was far too tempremental to trust it, and being well before 2,560,982,735,378 time shift channels, BBC2 at 9.00 was the only chance I really had of seeing it.

Not going to be a TV critic here, suffice to say it was good but not great.

The point I want to make is that it took me back. It took me to a time before mortgages and responsibility and I had a life pretty close to what you saw on the screen. I was starting to move up the ladder in my job, but was still junior enough to be able to turn up with a huge espresso still half pissed and get knowing nods/disgusted frowns from colleagues.

I was single and had great fun....but not as much as should have. I had really screwed up mates who forgot that early 20's rights of passage are one thing, but did not know when it is over...I bought CD's every week and music was my life for a while. Now I buy 3 a year and now bands are discovered for me by commercial stations rather than watching some obscure band at the Venue in New Cross and then buying their CD.

Regrets? as the song goes, I have a few, and rather like Miles, I regret not travelling. I had the time money and opportunity but did not do it and it bugs me now writing this that i did not go - for reasons I have yet to fathom to be honest.

So I had a great night on my own, the GLW came in and told me her new routine that she has to do, but my mind was on things like;

"what happened to the Candyskins & Eve6"
" i really should have shagged that Natasha from Horsham I met at that party in Eton Place"
"why did I not go to Australia for a year?"
"shit, that interest rate keeps going up"

Dan

No, honestly, I truly did try and avoid writing this blog today. Why? Because it is going to read like 99% of all blogs out there, but I can't help it.

Today, I just feel so......BLUUERGH! *deep sigh*

I have no idea why. When not visiting customers, my base it at home so I have no office to mingle around and today I have an admin day. But talk about demotivated. I mean I just cannot summon any enthusiasm for anything at all. As I say, I work from home and the house is empty apart from me, so the world is my Lobster (rodders). I can watch TV, sit in the garden (shower dodging), pop into town and get stuff...I can do what I want. But I don't want to do anything.

I feel like a kid who, when offered excellent suggestions will just shrug and say "nah, boring" almost on autopilot.

I will pick the kids up at 5, the GLW will be home at 6 so I have 3 hours to kill.

Bluergh.

Suggestions?

Dan

Another classic exchange with the GLW this morning. After the chocolate incident at Easter as previously blogged, I knew it would not be long before another bonkers discussion took place.

Last night I had a dream. Rarely do I dream, or rather rarely do I remember dreaming is probably more accurate. But anyway, it was one of those strange dreams where everything is out of place and you do odd things in odd places.

So in the dream, me and the GLW were on holiday, but inside in a community hall or some such and I went to the bar to get her a gin and tonic. She does not drink Gin and tonic.

And that is all I remember. As dull and meaningless as that....or so I thought.

So over shreddies this morning I mention this to her and I finish with "wierd eh?". I then get a silence. I knew something was ticking in her mind. Then she broke the silence:

"I don't like gin and tonic"
"yes I know - odd isn't it"
"but you know I don't like it"
"yes, and?"
"so why did you buy me one?"
"it was a dream love, who knows?"
"but even in dreams you should know what I would want"
"er...what?"
"did you do it to upset me?"
"eh?"
"were you trying to upset me in the dream?"
"what? - no, I was just buying you a drink"
"are you sure it was me?...were you dreaming about someone else?"
"stop right now. It was a dream, a bonkers dream that is all"
"yeah but dreams are visual manifestations of inner thought, so either it was not me or you were deliberatly getting it wrong"

At that point I spat my shredddies out laughing.

No point in continuing when that is the line of thought. So I swiftly changed the subject on to who is picking the kids up tonight and got ready for work.

So are dreams really "visual manifestations of inner thought" or just random cobblers?

I think you know where I stand on it.

Dan